Waiting for answers

The silence on my blog has been deafening. Last week was a bit of a battle for me. Running was almost next to impossible and I was happy to do 3 miles three different days last week. I was so sure I was being sidelined with an injury. My joints were achy and I was exhausted for no apparent reason. What I thought was poison ivy progressively got worse and now has spread over my entire midsection, back, shoulders and my ass. Needless to say I'm in a bit of a miserable, itchy state.

Needing answers and once again being overcome with a migraine (for the third time in a week), I sought a professional opinion. The first question out of the doctor's mouth was "does anyone in your family have Lupus?" The panic set in. I have watched my mother struggle with this disease for years. I've watched her be in pain, I've watched her be worn out, and I've watched her go through the struggle of finding a treatment that helped her have a normal, happy life (which she does now). This was not a question I wanted to hear.

They took 7 vials of my blood today for the tests and I have to wait 3 weeks for some answers. It comforts me to know that my "injury" probably is not running related but it scares me to death that it might be this disease that I don't know much about (and apparently neither do doctors). I'm going to take things one day at a time and I'm probably going to have to take the week off from running. The only thing my body wants to do right now is sleep.

I'm praying that I get answers and I'm praying that its something else that's easy to fix. I have to remind myself to live life one day at a time because I tend to panic over the unknown.

Excuses, Excuses

I'm a huge believer in not running through an injury. That's why I've been off of running since Thursday. After my 4.5 miles on Thursday an annoying and persistant ache in my groin returned. I really have no clue what it is but it keeps coming back and if this 3 day break from activity doesnt make it go away I have to go see a doctor. Tomorrow is 20 weeks until Marathon day and supposed to be Day 1 of my formal training program. I can not afford a set back. Time off drives me crazy even though I know its better to let your body heal.

The need for speed.

For my entire running life, I've been slow. Like turtle slow. We're talking 11-13 minute miles. But lately I've noticed something over the past few months.....I'm getting faster (YAY). But with this new realization I'm finding that I really dont know how to pace myself for my long runs. Yesterday I did 8.5 miles at an average pace of 11 minutes per mile but when I plugged my Garmin in to look at the data, my last mile was run at an 8 minute pace!! Obviously I'm not running a consistent speed and I must find a way to work on this..........

Lazy ass

The little demon of guilt has been sitting on my shoulders all week. I have a hard time not feeling defeated and completely guilty every time I take a day off, especially if its not scheduled. Last night my husband and I dared to go to dinner with some friends and have some resemblance of a social life. BIG MISTAKE. Our puppy apparently felt neglected and chose to keep us up from 2am on. We spent the evening getting up to let him out and going back to bed for 5 hours. Needless to say, after only 3 solid hours of sleep I felt like a walking zombie. The scheduled long run was shelved until tomorrow. I know I will get it done but I still feel so guilty for taking off. I guess this is compounded by the fact that I took off Thursday due to a terrible migraine.

I ran 5 mile yesterday, what the fuck did you do?

26.2 miles? On foot? Why? Am I insane?

I'm terrified of a number. 26.2 to be exact. I can hardly even wrap my brain around it. So please tell me why the fuck did I sign up to run my first marathon?

Because I'm not a pussy, that's why. I've been talking about it since I finished my last half at the end of April. I've supposedly been training for it for the last 3 weeks. I just had not taken the plunge and actually signed up and paid for it. If I pay for it, you can bet your sweet ass that I'm going to run it and do my best to finish it. I've ran 13.1 two different times, that equals 26.2 so I've already run the distance (kinda).

Let's see where this damn journey takes me. Common sense be damned.

I haven't ran anything today, what the fuck have you done? (In my defense, its my rest day and I had to be at work at 6am and then worked an hour and a half late and its hot as hell outside. Might get some yoga in.)

Have your cake and eat it too!

Why can't you have cake? I do! I found an amazing looking recipe in my latest Paula Deen recipe and I could not get this cake out of my head no matter how hard I tried. I knew that if I did not cook it and let myself have a slice that I would end up eating a lot of other bad for you things. So I baked the Lemon Cake with Lemon Buttercream Frosting and had ONE normal sized slice. The rest of the cake I sent to work with my husband and now it is out of sight and out of mind. Everything is about portion control and SELF control. I swear that I did not place the running literature in the background. That was a complete and random accident but it did make me laugh.

Today I ran 4.5 miles in the morning and took the dogs for a 2 mile walk in the evening. What the fuck did you do today?

Happy 4th of July!

Happy Birthday America! I'll try not to eat too much and become a fatass again.

Complaining is Not Considered Exercise

People are fat because they are lazy. Yes I know that there are individuals out there who have health problems and they may be the exception, but that probably makes up for less than 5% of the fat population (making up a statistic here). I was not one of those people, I was one of the lazy. Losing weight or keeping weight off is a simple math calculation: never eat (or drink) more calories than your body needs. When I was a fatass my typical diet included: Taco Bell, a case of beer, cocoa puffs, McDonald's, and of course Dr. Pepper. I estimate that my daily caloric intake was somewhere between 3000 and 5000 calories a day!! Its really no wonder I ballooned up like the fucking good year blimp in less than a year.

When I met my husband I had worked hard and lost all the weight that I had gained. This is probably why he was attracted to me in the first place. But love is a funny thing, it makes you lazy. I quickly slipped back into my habits and on the day that I walked down the aisle I weighed 160 lbs. Bless his heart, my husband never said a word about my weight.

Two straight years of inactivity and bad eating habits led to me being a fatass again and I finally got tired of it. I tried workout videos, I tried starving myself, I tried walking and I even attempted the Atkins diet. None of those things worked for me. I would be good for about a week and quickly fall off the wagon.

A friend of mine suggested that I sign up for a 5k and try to train for it using the Couch to 5k plan on the Internet. So July 9, 2009 I did Day 1, Week 1 of C25K. I got to somewhere around the 3rd week and couldn't do it. It was too much and I was too out of shape. I bought the book "Running for Mortals" and began the 5k run/walk program in the back of it and SUCCESS!! I ran my first 5k December 5, 2009 (ran the entire thing, no run/walk).

Since that day in 2009 I have run numerous 5k's, two 10k's, and two half marathons (and improved my time with each consecutive race). I would say that I caught the running bug. Honestly, once I made running part of my lifestyle and daily routine it was no longer a chore or an effort. It became something I did just like taking a shower or brushing my teeth.

So how about my diet now? What is it like? I don't really follow a diet. Because of my activity level, I eat when I'm hungry and I stop when I'm full. I never eat anything that's pre-processed and no fast food or cokes. Whole grains, grilled fish, fruit, yogurt, vegetables, chicken and lean beef are my typical foods now. Eating right isn't a science. There is no magic diet that you should eat. Eat like God intended for you to eat and you'll see the pounds fall off. God did not make foods that come in plastic wrappers and you shouldn't put those things in your body. With that said, we're all human and sometimes I do let myself have the things that are "bad" for you. Deprivation is a terrible deterrent and I know that if I don't allow myself to have that glass of wine or brownie once in a while I'll just end up eating a ton of other things in an attempt to satiate the craving and then eat the damn brownie eventually too.

I'm not here to tell you some get skinny quick, gimmick to losing weight and/or being healthy. Its hard work and it sucks at first but when you start seeing the results and feeling better as a result, its not work anymore. I promise.  So get off your lazy ass and quit whining about your weight because complaining never helped anyone lose weight.

The proof is in the pudding....or the lack there of

Hi my name is Jamie and I used to be a fatass. I even have the before and after pictures to prove it.:

BEFORE (Fall 2008):

AFTER (May 2011):

Sure, I "only" lost 37 lbs (went from 160 lbs to 123 lbs)  THIS time around. The first time I was fat and lost weight I lost 53 lbs but I only kept it off for less than a year because I just did not have the right approach to weight loss. I actually can not find the pictures of me when I weighed 180lbs circa 2004. I think in a margarita fueled ,skinny bitch rage I deleted them off the computer and burned the hard copies. If I find one, I'm not ashamed to share it with the world because I want people to know that I'm not some freak of nature, super human who runs eleventy billion miles a week. I'm a typical, red-blooded, American woman who loves food and loves alcohol and has had weight issues in the past.

So why did I create this blog? Its not to brag although I do feel as if I have every right to. I think its more to show people that if I can do it, anyone can. And to encourage anyone who wants to lose weight to start because there's no time like the present.  I also want to keep this blog as a place to talk about my running and my life journey. Why does anyone create a blog? Because we're all conceited and want to feel self important, that's why!!

So if you keep up with my blog you'll learn two things: (1) I have a dirty mouth and nothing about me is "G-rated" and (2) I run..........I run a lot because I'm currently training for a marathon ........OH and (3) I love to eat (and drink). Ok, ok that's 3 things but you get the point.

So let's get started............ I ran 10 miles this morning in the heat and humidity. What the fuck did you do today?